Starting Over

I have no excuses any more
I WILL be thin
and I will stop eating like a fucking pig

I gained.
up to 48.5kg - about 107lbs
fucking disgusting

by this time of the day over the past week
I think I would have already had over 300cal
today
I had one weetbix crushed up and layered with cherry yogurt - all up 135cal
tasted good
and I'm so full
I ate an hour ago
and I still feel like I could explode
mind over matter
I'm in control
and I'll keep it that way.

I do martial arts twice a week now
tonight is my second night
I can feel my stomach muscles burning from Monday night
and I think I pulled my right calf that night too
need to stretch more
but it feels good, and I picked it up quite quickly
so I'll do that
in conjunction with my pilates
and eating how I should be - as little as possible, while making it look like lots

hopefully I'll drop down again
I've been telling people I'm 46kg...
I know I'm not
but its so when I get there, if someone tells me I've lost weight
I can jump on the scales and show them that I "haven't"
I want to get there soon
within the week would be good
but with how I've been going lately, I'll be surprised if its within the month :(


I'm glad to read how well you're all doing
good luck to everyone
think skinny
stay strong
xxx