finally broken 46...

well
I'm down under 46kg
45.4kg
thats basically 100lbs!
I'm so close I can almost taste it

funny tho
I can see bones in my shoulders
which looks good
but my stomach hasn't changed much.
maybe its because I have muscle there...
the martial arts instructor insists I do 20 situps and 20 pushups every night so that I get good at them
so I have been
and I have scary stomach muscles now
hehe

I will get there
we will all get there

stay strong my dears
love to you all
<3
xxx

eventful weekend... 46.7 revisted

well
to say my easter weekend was eventful
lets just say that is a bit of an understatement
we went camping

FRIDAY:
all good, ate bugger all, kept calorie intake low
did fine, had a bit of fun

SATURDAY:
started fine
ate more than I intended to for breakfast
and I actually ate lunch
then to top it off I decided to have pizza for dinner
so I went to the pub across the road with my partner
he got some seafood thing, I got my veggie pizza
went back to where we were camping
dad and everyone else went over to the pub while we ate
2 pieces of pizza, gave one to the dog
then shit happened.
we turned away for a moment, literally less than a minute
and the dog disappeared
we called him, ran off down towards the road calling him
heard yelping
decided that he had gone to the pub and annoyed the dog that was there
but no
he got partway across the road and got hit by a car
then somehow got into the pub
so we were freaking out
dad made us feel like it was our fault, saying "anyone could have looked away, BUT..."

anywho, we called a vet and were told that we had to keep him on his front, he wasn't allowed to lay on his side because he might have a punctured lung (blood coming out his nose)
so dad slept next to him outside and made sure he slept properly

SUNDAY:
in the morning, woke up and he was wagging his tale and trying to walk around
we decided not to let him, and dad took him to the vet for a check-up
internal bruising, bruised lungs, possible ligament damage in his front leg, and a fair few cuts and bruises
but he's ok
he's alive
dad apologised for how he reacted
ate heaps, don't even remember what

MONDAY:
packed everything up
headed home at about 4:30
car ran out of fuel literally 5 minutes from home
filled it up from what we had in the back of the car
got home, it started pissing down and we got drenched
waited til it stopped raining, then unpacked the cars while dinner was being made

FUCKING MASSIVE PLATE OF SPAGHETTI
I ate 3/4 of it


and now we have today, Tuesday
and I weigh 46.7kg again
I was 46kg on Thursday
fucking bad weekend
but I'll get back on track this week

stay strong girls
we can do it
xxx

Success

Since Wednesday, I have been REALLY recording my cal intake
I mean properly
no lying to myself
none of that

I feel like posting it here
along with my weight on each day too


Wednesday 01.04.09 = 48.5kg/107lbs, 340cal
Thursday 02.04.09 = 48kg/105.8lbs, 971.5cal
Friday 03.04.09 = 47.8kg/105.3lbs, 460cal
Saturday 04.04.09 = 47.4kg/104.5lbs, 570cal


it is now Sunday, I have just had my 'breakfast' (its 11:30 lol)
I had Special K - the one with the choc flakes - and some skim milk (184cal)
my weight this morning
was 46.9kg - thats about 103.4lbs for those of you who don't get kg's
so I've lost nearly 4lbs since Wednesday
while having really odd cal intakes
oh well
I'm happy with that
I'm actually losing properly now
hooray!

stay strong
xxx

And the virdict is...

I'm down to 48kg (just under 106lbs)
hooray for low-cal days
had the same breakfast this morning as yesterday
ate it a bit earlier though - about 8:30am
its 11am at the moment
still feel like exploding

I guess I will have to see what the day brings :)
fingers crossed that I can control myself though
I'm going to try for nothing until dinner
because I don't know what dinner will be

my muscles hurt from last night
stomach muscles are so sore that it hurts to sneeze
LOL
ah well, it was good :)

stay strong
xxx

GOOD DAY

Well, I've proved to myself that I can do it
I haven't eaten since 2:30pm
its is currently 10pm
I'm still full
don't want anything to eat
despite the fact that I just spent an hour and a half learning to fight off people twice my weight

for breakfast at 9am I had
1 weetabix (65), crushed and layered with black cherry yogurt (70) = 135

for a snack at 1pm I had
french vanilla yogurt = 70

and for lunch at 2:30pm I had
1 weetabix (65), crushed and layered with french vanilla yogurt (70) = 135

and thats all
I feel good
340cal total
I've never kept it that low and felt fine
tomorrow I hope the scales will be nice to me

wish me luck
stay strong, think skinny
xxx

Starting Over

I have no excuses any more
I WILL be thin
and I will stop eating like a fucking pig

I gained.
up to 48.5kg - about 107lbs
fucking disgusting

by this time of the day over the past week
I think I would have already had over 300cal
today
I had one weetbix crushed up and layered with cherry yogurt - all up 135cal
tasted good
and I'm so full
I ate an hour ago
and I still feel like I could explode
mind over matter
I'm in control
and I'll keep it that way.

I do martial arts twice a week now
tonight is my second night
I can feel my stomach muscles burning from Monday night
and I think I pulled my right calf that night too
need to stretch more
but it feels good, and I picked it up quite quickly
so I'll do that
in conjunction with my pilates
and eating how I should be - as little as possible, while making it look like lots

hopefully I'll drop down again
I've been telling people I'm 46kg...
I know I'm not
but its so when I get there, if someone tells me I've lost weight
I can jump on the scales and show them that I "haven't"
I want to get there soon
within the week would be good
but with how I've been going lately, I'll be surprised if its within the month :(


I'm glad to read how well you're all doing
good luck to everyone
think skinny
stay strong
xxx